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2:45 AM

27-Jun-08

I must admit, I always kind of thought those the magic bullet people were lame. But I’ve been sitting here with the infomercial running on mute for an hour, and I’ve suddenly realized how badly I need one.

Life is going well, and I’m still working on the diet. I’ve been reading about negative strength training all night, and I also found a diet I think I might try following. I’ve really missed things like beans, which seem perfectly healthy to me. Maybe slow-carb is the way to go.

Due to an incorrectly entered billing address, the Power 90 system was never sent to me. I don’t feel too bad about that, though. After a week of reflection, I figure I can probably do better on my own. That and I’d feel lame working out in front of the TV for hours every week. I can be way more exciting than that.

Updates as they come.

-sexy bastard

P.S. I’m taking down the donation links. In retrospect, it is too much like panhandling. Bad rhetoric!

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Still Here, It Seems

23-Jun-08

After a few weeks of aimless wandering, I’m back on plan. I’ve left Austin for the summer and now I spend my days watching BBC America, cleaning my Pop’s house, exercising, and collecting dust. It’s been a week and a half up here, and I’ve been missing the boyfriend something crazy most of the time, although I wouldn’t tell him that. When we speak on the phone, I find myself mildly annoyed that he isn’t around for me to bother. I don’t usually notice how much of my day goes into hiding to scare him after work, waking him up from naps, poking him as he tries to play video games, or any of my other countless ways of annoying him (with love and care, natch). On top of that, I don’t even have my laptop or 3 o’clock cocktails to occupy my time. Oh, summer.

I’m considering shaking up my diet by following Michi’s Ladder instead of Atkins for a while. It would be interesting to have fruit and oats, but I don’t know about the low-fat emphasis. In my experience, that kind of dieting is a one way road to becoming skinny-fat. If I do it, I’ll definitely pass over the skim milk in favor of whole and find myself some natural yogurt.

I also bought the Power 90 workout DVDs, which should arrive towards the end of this week. They don’t look crazy-intense, but I hear they are a great primer for the p90x workout (which I am more interested in, but not sure if I can do yet). The Power 90 program is supposed to be better than the rest of those infomercial type plans, because it spends a good deal of time focusing on strength training instead of just cardio. You do six sessions a week, with an even split of strength/cardio. Hopefully I will see some results within 2-3 weeks, about the time I need to surprise the boyfriend with my body that will be eight times awesomer than his.

Oh, and I read about a new supplement called Coleus Forskohlii in Men’s Health. Supposedly it is all kinds of good for jacking up the metabolism and regulating the vital organs, but it is near-impossible to find in the average supplement stores. As soon as I find and try some, I’ll report back.

Ta for now.

E

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“Whooshie Pie”

02-Jun-08

I found this recipe after someone referenced it in their menu plan. I haven’t tried making it, but maybe later this week. Right now I’m saving it for posterity.

  • 2 lbs of lean round beef
  • 1 package of cream cheese
  • 2 tsp yellow mustard
  • 2 tsp horseradish
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • garlic powder to taste
  • dehydrated onions to taste

    • Divide the beef and put half in a greased round glass baking dish. Push the beef up against the sides to form the ‘crust’ and add the filling to the shell, spreading it out evenly. Use the other half of the ground beef to make the crust and pinch the edges together. Bake for 55 minutes, or until well done

    Preheat oven to 325.To make the filling, combine the cream cheese, mustard, horseradish, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and onions in a mixing bowl. It will look thick, not unlike eggs.

The term ‘whooshie’ describes the diuretic effect of the horseradish in the pie. A little known weight-loss fact is that as your cells burn fat, they replace its mass with water. Only after reaching a certain point will they release it all and shrink down to a smaller size, which is something this recipe apparently tries to trigger.

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Creamed Spinach

22-May-08

The creamed spinach from our dinner party is too good not to have its own post. One of our guests had never tried spinach before (she was from Houston, don’t blame her), and she said she instantly knew no one else’s would ever live up to how good ours was that night. I’ll be repeating that line ’till my deathbed. The flavor is all about the parmigiano-reggiano cheese, but I’m sure the cup of heavy cream doesn’t hurt either. Even though this is a savory treat for low carb, I recommend moderation for anyone counting their calories. For me, though, it doesn’t even leave a dent; I already get all my cals from half-and-half.

Traditional Creamed Spinach

  • about 3 pounds fresh spinach
  • 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 tablespoon chopped garlic
  • 3/4 cup small (1/4-inch) diced yellow onions (about 1 small onion)
  • 3/4 cup heavy cream
  • 1/2 cup grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese
  • Pinch ground nutmeg
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

To prepare the spinach, first remove any unwanted stems or brown parts. Rinse the leaves several times in cold water until all the dirt has been rinsed off. Drain the spinach but leave some water clinging to the spinach leaves.

Heat a large pan over medium-high heat and add the wet spinach. (This step may need to be done in batches.) Turn the spinach frequently with a pair of tongs as it cooks. Once it is wilted, remove it from the pan and place it in a strainer and squeeze out as much liquid as possible. (This step is very important.) Transfer the drained spinach to a cutting board and chop coarsely. Set aside.

Meanwhile, melt the butter in a saucepan over medium heat and add the garlic and onions. Cook until the onions are translucent and soft (about 10-15 minutes). Add the cream, parmigiano-reggiano, nutmeg, salt and black pepper and continue cooking until it is reduced a bit (about 5 minutes).

Add the spinach to the cream and mix well. Continue to cook until most of the cream has been absorbed and the dish is thick and creamy. Remove from heat and serve.

Recipe via Whole Foods

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How I Came to Post Again

21-May-08

After straying quite a bit during finals, I’m back on Atkins and doing well.

It all started with a dinner party the boyfriend and I hosted a week before the semester ended. It really was the party to end all other parties, and I don’t know if we will ever top it. My common-law in-laws lent us their house for the weekend, and we served up a menu of:

  • Bacon Wrapped Cream Cheese Jalapeño Poppers
  • Hickory Smoked Sausage and Chicken
  • Twice-Baked, then Sautéed Ribs
  • Broccoli with a Fontina Fondue
  • Creamed Spinach
  • Broiled Acorn Squash
  • Dark Chocolate Pudding
  • Chocolate Cake

The creamed spinach was undeniably the standout, although everything was near perfect. We served fourteen people in all, and every one of them hung out in the kitchen as we worked. The night was surreal, and it makes me happy that we didn’t stop throwing parties back when our first one was a dud. Practice makes perfect.

The entire night was Atkins friendly, too, except for the cake that a friend brought to share. It was beautiful–dark and rich with the creamiest icing–but the boyfriend and I knew better than to eat it ourselves. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop us. We had been doing so well with Atkins and the gym that we thought one night wouldn’t matter a bit; we’d get up the next morning and start right where we left off.

That never happens. As it turns out, the next day we just wanted more cake. Thinking that one more splurge wouldn’t hurt us when we had come so far, we bought an Italian Cream Cake. This mindset ended sometime last week when we got back on Atkins fo’ realsies, and we’ve been eating right ever since.

The scale, however, still frowns at our excess. Although we’ve already lost a bit of what we put on, I won’t be back to 248 overnight (which is sad, because that would be very nice). Right now I’m hoping to be back in the 240s by early-June, when I drive home to Philadelphia. I’m hoping to get my father started on low carb, but I won’t be a very good role model if I haven’t lost any weight since the last time he saw me.

Before I close this post, I have to say that even though this might seem like failure, it’s just a stumble. If you ruin your diet, get up, wipe away the greasy tears, and get back to what’s important. Everyone does this at one time or another; the important thing is to make it a quick tumble, because every day that you let it become a face-first, spread-eagle plunge is a day of progress that you’ll never get back.

In short, keep on truckin’.

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Pizza

29-Apr-08

I know, loves; I know. I haven’t been posting like I should, but in my defense, it has been finals, and life has been crazy. I have updates to post soon (a dinner party that was uncommonly successful, a diet that was violated and restarted, and donuts made entirely out of cream cheese and eggs) but for now, I just have a snippet of my daily conversation.

Talking to my ex about Atkins today, I said, “Right before we started Atkins we bought a pizza stone. I regret it not because of the money, but because of the happy times we were going to have baking those pizzas. It is like having an old engagement ring laying around the house; it makes me want to cry because of the possibilities.”

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This Is Texas, Y’all

16-Apr-08

Coming in from the patio, I told the boyfriend, “The smoker’s started; I got us Flintstone size ribs this time.”

“As long as they’ve got at least as much meat as fat.”

“Don’t go casting stones in glass houses.”

Not that he actually would be. He’s doing greaton Atkins, as a matter of a fact. For the first time in memory, the guy is under 200 pounds.

He called me this weekend because he had been given a written warning for doing sidewalk art on campus. “That’s no the important part,” he said, “the cop asked me if I was 180 or 190!” That’s when I really realized to what degree weight-loss makes optimists out of us. If the whole world could have monthly increases of sex appeal, we could stave off WW3 for at least another decade. Although when the shit finally went down, we’d all be freaking ravenous.

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The Damn Truth

13-Apr-08

The boyfriend asked me earlier today, “You still want to go to the Cheesecake Factory tonight?”

Of course I was still going. The real question was if he was still paying.

“I’ll get a whole cheesecake if you want,” he said.

“I do want a loss this week, you know. We would have little rewards every two days all month.”

“Yeah, I right soon expect that to be happening. We’ll have a reward tonight, and then a reward tomorrow morning, and then that’ll be that.”

Luckily we were smart and just had our one slice each. It was okay, but really not necessary. I think our future rewards will stick within the confines of induction (the strictest phase of Atkins).

I also don’t think the Cheesecake Factory is worth what it charges anymore. They served water in plastic mugs, had, ahem, interesting wait staff, and their trademark smooth jazz Egyptian decor just isn’t flying in 2008. The place felt like it was given the smallest upgrades possible to put it in the upscale casual dining category; whenever I looked past what was shoved into view, there was just mediocrity. That and it had more douche bags per square foot than a tanning salon on Saturday morning. I haven’t seen so many soul patches since Smash Mouth and Sugar Ray were indie. Naturally, the people-watching was excellent.

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My Third Friday Weigh-In

11-Apr-08

Even though every day was hell, I hung in there this week. Me, seriously:

My Horns Are Hurting, But My Ass Looks Great

All said and done, I’m two more pounds down and feeling a whole lot better. Dieting is always the easiest (and  the most self-righteous) for the first few days after a loss.

Now I’m off to Houston to help the boyfriend with a project. It’s the Cheesecake Factory tonight, and dinner is on him. I can already taste their low carb cheesecake. Life is looking up.

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Standing in the Aisle

09-Apr-08

Cravings can drive a person absolutely mad. Lately I have been, as the boyfriend put it, “in the doldrums.” My fascist diet energy has faded, and in its place I’ve found a dicey urge to eat cookies.

Yesterday I wandered there again. After having four hours sleep in two and a half days, writing eight pages of essays, taking two exams and waiting three and a half hours for an intern who decided to take the afternoon off, I found myself standing in the grocery store, lost and listless, waiting for a mediocre quality baked good to take my hand, fill me up and tuck me into bed.

Luckily (I guess), I was so defeated that I didn’t even have the energy to cheat. I drove home and passed out instead, waking up five hours later to piece together another assignment. Today will be a better day for it, but these passing cravings do take their toll.

Last week the boyfriend and I had cheesecake, cookies and ice cream. It was the kind of shindig that only true children of obesity could get down with; the two of us standing at the register, buying $30 of sweets and trying not to look any clerks in the eye. The food was okay, but it didn’t solve any of our problems. The next day I felt as puffy as if I had been out binge drinking, but not half as interesting. I didn’t lose any weight on Friday, and the scale showed a 0.4 pound gain.

Now I’m saying no to the bakery, and when I have eight hours of sleep tucked away, I’m going to hit the gym. Because nothing tastes as good as thin.

Oh, and if we have a nice loss this week, on Friday we’re going to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It’s going to be a weekly thing, and we have a list of low-carb restaurants to visit. That’s what I call motivation.

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